TTC Cycle #4: October 29, 2009-December 6, 2009 (39 days)
CD 19- I had to get off my prescription acne meds in the spring before we started TTC. Needless to say, my face broke out and I looked like a 14-year-old with the amount of acne that was on my face (apparently my body didn't understand that I'm 24). Even an insensitive co-worker asked me "Aren't you too old to be having acne?" I'm using salicylic acid OTC acne stuff, and I'm not happy with the results. So I make an appointment with a dermatologist to ask if there's anything that I can be on that's safe for TTC. Her answer? No. It's all I can do to not start bawling in the patient room. I'm so self-conscious about my face, and it's really affecting my self-esteem. She tries to cheer me up by saying that I could even be pregnant now! Um, no. I'm already feeling depressed about not conceiving. I'm sacrificing coffee on a daily basis, alcohol after ovulation, and acne meds for a baby that doesn't even exist yet, and I feel and look like crap. I pay a $40 co-pay for absolutely nothing. Luckily I made it to the car before I started crying.
CD 30- We're in Florida. It's the day after Thanksgiving, and I'm at my SIL's baby shower. She's not married, family doesn't really like the baby's dad at all, and she's due December 23rd (DH's birthday). The shower is being held at the small, hippie private school that DH and his sister attended and MIL still teaches at. I'm struggling to get through the shower, but for the most part I'm okay because she conceived before DH and I started TTC, and I'm hoping that we conceive soon so the cousins can be close in age. During the shower, I get a call from a friend. She says that another one of our friends is pregnant with their 2nd child, and that they just announced it on facebook. We talk for a while and hang up. I rejoin the festivities with tears in my eyes, but I knew I could hold it together if I didn't have to talk to anyone (I only knew a couple people anyway- the rest were strangers to me). I last for about 10 minutes until DH asks me, "What's wrong?" I shook my head. I couldn't answer him without breaking out into tears in front of a room full of people. He takes me outside to the front of the school, and I lose it. I start weeping in his arms, and it takes me a few minutes before I can tell him about the phone conversation. I'll spare you the messy details. DH eventually calms me down, and we head back inside 15 minutes later. I look like I've been crying, but thankfully everyone leaves me alone. It's all I can do to hold it together while watching SIL open more baby presents.
CD 36- Even though SIL was due on December 23rd, she has the baby today on December 3rd via emergency cesarean because he was in breech and her water had broken. Turns out that the baby also has Down syndrome and an interrupted aortic arch that requires open-heart surgery (she had ZERO pre-natal care [which I disagreed with but won't tell her what to do], so she could've known about these ahead of time, but didn't). We didn't know about the latter until later, and he actually could've died after they took him home. It's a miracle he survived.
CD 40- I get my period. My cycles are so freaking long! I was really hoping that since it was taking so long, I was already pregnant. Wrong again.
I was curious about the amount of money that we spent TTC, so I thought I'd add it up...
Co-pays for OBGYN visits: $275
Co-pays for sessions with therapist (started seeing her after 14 months TTC): $100
Prescription medications (Clomiphene, Femara, Metformin, & Prometrium): $220.97
Seminal Fluid Analysis: $110
Pregnancy tests: $56.22
Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor and test sticks: $104.55
Pre-natal vitamins: $50
Having a baby: PRICELESS!!!! :)