Thursday, April 28, 2011

Lenten Prayer Buddy Reveal

I've been on a blogger hiatus for a week, but I had to pop in once I realized that we were doing the prayer buddy reveals!  This Lent, I had the privilege to pray for Faith Makes Things Possible...Not Easy.  I had never seen her blog before and was delighted to find that we share the battles of PCOS, so I felt like I could relate to her more on that front.  I won't mention her prayer intentions, but "Faith"--know that I prayed for each and every one of them!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

2nd Doppler & Spring Break

We had our second Doppler yesterday at 16 weeks!  Baby cooperated much better this time--the nurse was able to find him/her right away without searching on my abdomen for a while!  She said that my baby was already so well-behaved ;)  The heart beat was 156 bpm.  At 8 wks 2 days, the heart beat was 163, and at 12 weeks, the heart beat was 160.  So we're slowing down a teeny bit, but the nurse said it's still within the healthy range.  While we were listening to the heart beat, every so often you would hear this static blip for just a second, and the nurse said that it was caused by the baby kicking and moving.  It happened 4 times in the span of a minute!  I have a very active kid :)  After the Doppler was over and we were done going over all the 16 week updates, the nurse left to get my prenatal prescription.  At that point, DH mentioned that we should have recorded the heart beat.  I told him that I knew we weren't allowed to record the ultrasounds, but I didn't know about the Dopplers.  DH had to leave at that point to go back to work, so I asked the nurse about it when she returned.  She said that we were allowed to record the Doppler.  Oh well.  I guess we'll do it next time!

Today, Holy Thursday, is the first day of my spring break!  Since I work for a Catholic school, our spring break always starts on Holy Thursday and goes through the week of Easter.  The only downside to this is that this is the first year that DH had a different spring break then I do, since he works for the county schools.  Their spring break was last week.  DH decided to stay home on the couch for his break, but I'm heading south to visit family in Georgia and Florida.  I don't know how much time I'll have to blog and read blogs, but I'll try to get caught up when I get back.  Today I'm heading to Atlanta to visit my cousin K and her family (including my godson!), and tomorrow I'm heading to Gainesville to visit my SIL and meet her new baby!  I'm really excited about this trip but sad to be leaving DH behind.

Have a blessed Easter!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

TTC Cycle #15

TTC Cycle #15: November 13, 2010-December 11, 2010 (29 days)

CD 3- Appointment with Dr. C to check my ovaries and see how they're doing.  I still have some excess fluid in there from the previous cycle.  Dr. C thinks it may have been caused by the Clomid from 2 cycles ago, so he decides to prescribe Femara for me.  He told me that it's actually prescribed for pre-menopausal women going through breast cancer treatments.  Apparently one of the side effects is causing women to ovulate.  I decide to give it a shot, so I take 2.5 mg of it on CD 3-7.

CD 11- Another appointment with Dr. C to check and see if I'm responding to the Femara.  Ultrasound shows one 8mm follicle on one ovary and 5-6 un-developing follicles on the other ovary.  Diagnosis?  Not ovulating.  I have PCOS, and they're doing a progesterone check on CD 21 to confirm.  Great.  Dr. C prescribes me 1500 mg of Metformin, which is an insulin sensitizer.  I have to take 500 mg for the first week, 1000 mg for the second week, and then the full dosage after that.  The biggest downside to this medication is that I can't have any alcohol :(  One upside is that part of the warnings on the label said, "Warning: May increase the risk of pregnancy."  Haha!  I'll take that risk!!! ;)

CD 14- My nephew, E, has his baptism.  My sister L asked me and DH to be the godparents.  It was a lovely ceremony, and everyone kept saying what a great mother L is being.  I had tears in my eyes by the end of it, wishing it was my own baby, but I held it together.

CD 15- Celebrating Thanksgiving in Florida, and I go out with my friend J to watch the FSU v UF game.  Six margaritas and one victory shot later, and I'm trashed.  DH drives me to a friend's house so we can hang out just the 3 of us.  Once I get there, I decide it's a good idea to make myself throw up so I won't have to do it later, so I do.  I somehow end up lying on the living room floor when A & K walk in the door.  Since it was supposed to be the 3 of us, they were the last people I expected to walk through the door.  K is six months pregnant now.  I was drunk, and I lost it.  I couldn't handle being in the same room with her even though I had just seen her the day before with a large group (about 15 people).  I made an excuse that I needed to call my friend L to check up on her and took my cell phone out to the front porch.  L didn't answer, so I called DH's cousin to sob to her for a while.  My friend J called me 30 minutes into the conversation, and I was bawling my eyes out at that point.  I tell her that I'm stuck there, and she says that she'll come and get me with her DH.  As soon as I hang up, attempt to dry my tears, and walk in the door, DH, K, & A are all walking out to leave.  I say good-bye to them, get in the car with DH, and proceed to start crying again.  DH was so upset with me for leaving the room (I'll admit it was rude of me, but I was drunk and mourning the fact that I wasn't pregnant).  He couldn't speak with me for the rest of the night, and we woke up first thing in the morning to make the 8 hour drive back home.  He still couldn't speak with me then.  I felt horrible the next day (just emotionally, no hangover luckily), and I was devastated that I was letting my sub-fertility affect me so much.  Later on, I'm able to talk about the weekend with my therapist, and she and I both agreed that I probably wouldn't have acted like that if I wasn't drunk.  Sub-fertility sucks.

CD 21- Appointment at OBGYN for a blood draw for a progesterone check.  My progesterone level was 1.5, confirming that I didn't ovulate.  Ugh.

CD 29-30- Head to Atlanta for my godson's baptism (my cousin's son).  I now have 2 godsons within the span of 2 weeks.  This ceremony was a little easier for me to get through since I know it took my cousin 2 years to conceive him, whereas with my sister it was an "accident."  On the day of the baptism, I get my period :(

Sunday, April 17, 2011

An unusual proposal, not my engagement story with DH (although I'll have to write that story eventually).  It was actually from my neighbor!

We live in a 3rd floor condo with 4 units on each floor.  I know everyone's face, but not all the names.  I know about half of the names.  We've been living here for almost 3 1/2 years, and I STILL don't know everyone's names.  Embarrassing, I know.  The lady living diagonal across from us is one of them.  I know lots of things about her...such as 1) She works in the medical field, 2) She doesn't have any pets, 3) There's a random dining room chair outside her front door that has a year's worth of pollen and dust on it, 4) One time she gave a girl in  our neighborhood some bus money to get away from her boyfriend that was beating on her in the front yard (with lots of witnesses not doing anything), 5) She's divorced and in her 60s.  However, I don't know her name.  I've had lots and lots of conversations with her though, and she somehow knows my name, so we must have introduced ourselves when we first moved in, and I don't have any memory of that conversation.  It's gone on so long now that I don't feel like I can ask the lady her name.

This evening I got home from working a WW meeting, and she was getting into her car as I was heading upstairs.  She stopped me and asked if I had a baby bump and congratulated me on my pregnancy.  Then she asked if she could do an ultrasound on me.  I'm like, wha???  Apparently she's in school to be an ultrasound tech (I think), and before she graduates on May 13th, she needs to do an ultrasound on someone in their second or third trimester in order to pass her certification.  I told her sure, but that I was leaving for Florida on Thursday and wouldn't be back until May 1st.  She said that was fine and that we could do it when I get back (I'd be almost 18 weeks then).

The problem is, I still don't know her name.  I mentioned to DH how embarrassing this was for me, and he suggested looking her up online since I know her address.  I successfully found her name from the White Pages online.

It's Judith.

But does she go by Judith or Judy?  Ugh!

*Side note*--It's amazing that my doctor's office charges $335 for an ultrasound when my neighbor is offering to do one for free!  Crazy stuff.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Mother Teresa on NFP

This was such a touching quote that I had to re-post it here: Mother Teresa on NFP

I love, love, LOVE this picture!  Such happiness <3

Monday, April 11, 2011

Infertility in the media

I just finished watching the newest House episode.  For those of you who watch House and haven't seen it, come back and read later...

The episode was about a man with unexplainable symptoms (as always) whose wife ended up getting sick just like him.  The doctors went to the couple's home to test for toxins and such, and one of the doctors found a baby outfit in the bottom of her bedroom closet (where the hoarding had started).  Apparently the wife had infertility, then later you find out that she had 3 miscarriages that she didn't tell her husband about.  The miscarried babies is what triggered the hoarding.

Watching this reminded me of a post by Matching Moonheads about infertile women portrayed in the media.  For the woman on the House episode, infertility made her crazy, so she started hoarding everything.  It really bothered me, so DH had to pause the Tivo while I ranted for a minute before resuming the episode.  Matching Moonheads responds to this topic so much more eloquently than I can, so head on over to her blog to check out her post on this topic.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

A trip to McDonald's

I went to McDonald's today for the first time in like, 5 or 6 years.  I was meeting up with a friend who has one almost 4 year old daughter and 2 foster kids (2 year old girl & 3 month old boy).  We had been meaning to do a coffee date in such a looong time, but she was never able to get a sitter and felt like she was over-using her mother to watch the kids.  As a result, my friend (L) finally suggested doing a coffee date at McDonalds so the 2 girls could play on the playground while we chatted over coffee with the baby.

It ended up being a great visit.  I got to catch up with L and give the baby a bottle as well.  She's currently 4 weeks pregnant, and we talked of babies and the difficulties of sub-fertility (L has had 10 miscarriages in the last 2 1/2 years.  She's my IRL sub-fertility friend.  Prayer Buddy--if you could pray for her instead of my intention, that would be greatly appreciated!).

At one point I left to use the restroom, and on my way there I passed by a mother and her 3 year old daughter.  The daughter pointed me out to her mother as I passed by and said, "Is she a mommy too?"  To which the mother replied, "I'm sure she's a mommy to somebody."

And I am :)  That somebody just happens to be in my womb...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

TTC Cycle #14

TTC Cycle #14: October 14, 2010-November 12, 2010 (30 days)

CD 2- I go in for the routine ultrasound to check and see if my ovaries are back to normal so I can get another round of Clomiphene.  It was normal the last two times, so I had no reason to think that this appointment would be different.  Dr. C starts the ultrasound, and there's A LOT of black on the screen.  He starts saying "Hmm...hmmm......HMMM...." to himself.  I'm like, WTF is going on and why isn't he saying anything to me?!?!  Apparently he found a bunch of free-floating fluid in my abdomen, like TWICE as large as my uterus. He said that it wasn't good, and that I should be in a lot of pain. I told him I felt bloated, but I figured that was from my period, but it turns out it wasn't. He thinks I may have had a cyst that burst.  He ordered some bloodwork done and didn't prescribe Clomid this cycle to give my body and break and figure out what the hell is going on.  I get home and cry and cry and cry.  DH gets home later on, and the sweet man decides to skip playing in his soccer game that evening to stay home and be with me <3

CD 10-11- Camping with friends.  K doesn't come because she doesn't want the extreme cold to affect her pregnancy, and I'm secretly glad that I don't have to see her.

CD 13- Doc appt again for another ultrasound. On that ultrasound, my left ovary looked polycystic because there were 4-5 undeveloping follicles/cysts. On my right ovary there was one maturing follicle that was 19 mm, so I would probably ovulate out of that one.  Dr. C said it was a good sign that I'm ovulating naturally this cycle. Also by the length of the maturing follicle, he said that I'd have a 29-30 day cycle, which was also good. He also told me to have sex that night (Tues), skip Wed., and have sex Thurs, Fri, and Sat. So we did, and now we wait...

CD 29- I'm reading a book in the teacher's lounge during my lunch break, and one of my co-workers starts teasing me and talking to me saying "Who did it?  How's it turning out?" in regards to the book I was reading.  I just smiled and told him I'd let him know at the end.  A half hour later, I'm back in my classroom with my students for their lunchtime, and the same teacher pokes his head in my doorway and says, "So, did it happen yet?"  One of my students hears him say this to me, and shouts out, "ARE YOU PREGNANT?!"  I was in complete and utter shock.  Of course, my classroom erupts into chaos, and they all start yelling and talking excitedly that their teacher is pregnant.  It took me a full 10 seconds before I got my wits about me and was able to quell the room and tell them that I'm NOT pregnant.  Having 16 nine and ten-year-olds all get excited about my "pregnancy" really got to me, and it was all I could do to not start bawling in the moment.  I luckily held it together and got to bawl on my DH's shoulder in the privacy of my home later that evening.

CD 31- I got a call from my mom in the morning saying that my health insurance company had called her looking for me to talk with me about my benefits. I'm like, what??? So I call the number that they gave her and finally get a hold of a person. I explain the situation and ask what they were calling me about. The lady replies, "Oh, we received a claim from your doctor, and it says that you're pregnant now. Congratulations!" I'm like, WTF I'M NOT PREGNANT!!! There's ANOTHER Katie with the same last name at my doctor's office who is currently pregnant. I know because they mixed up our charts back in August and the nurse kept talking to me like I was pregnant and we finally figured out it was a different Katie. So this is the second time they've mixed up our files, even though they put a "name alert" on our files. Anyway, so it's all I can do not to hang up on this woman because I know it's not her fault, so I give her my correct phone number, end the conversation, and proceed to sob into James' arms. Later that day I got my period. *sigh* I can't catch a could this happen to me TWICE in one week?!

I'm not really in ranting/raging mood like I appear to be in the post, but I wanted it to reflect my feelings at the time.  Everything is fine and dandy here, and I'm 14 weeks pregnant :)