Wednesday, April 20, 2011

TTC Cycle #15

TTC Cycle #15: November 13, 2010-December 11, 2010 (29 days)

CD 3- Appointment with Dr. C to check my ovaries and see how they're doing.  I still have some excess fluid in there from the previous cycle.  Dr. C thinks it may have been caused by the Clomid from 2 cycles ago, so he decides to prescribe Femara for me.  He told me that it's actually prescribed for pre-menopausal women going through breast cancer treatments.  Apparently one of the side effects is causing women to ovulate.  I decide to give it a shot, so I take 2.5 mg of it on CD 3-7.

CD 11- Another appointment with Dr. C to check and see if I'm responding to the Femara.  Ultrasound shows one 8mm follicle on one ovary and 5-6 un-developing follicles on the other ovary.  Diagnosis?  Not ovulating.  I have PCOS, and they're doing a progesterone check on CD 21 to confirm.  Great.  Dr. C prescribes me 1500 mg of Metformin, which is an insulin sensitizer.  I have to take 500 mg for the first week, 1000 mg for the second week, and then the full dosage after that.  The biggest downside to this medication is that I can't have any alcohol :(  One upside is that part of the warnings on the label said, "Warning: May increase the risk of pregnancy."  Haha!  I'll take that risk!!! ;)

CD 14- My nephew, E, has his baptism.  My sister L asked me and DH to be the godparents.  It was a lovely ceremony, and everyone kept saying what a great mother L is being.  I had tears in my eyes by the end of it, wishing it was my own baby, but I held it together.

CD 15- Celebrating Thanksgiving in Florida, and I go out with my friend J to watch the FSU v UF game.  Six margaritas and one victory shot later, and I'm trashed.  DH drives me to a friend's house so we can hang out just the 3 of us.  Once I get there, I decide it's a good idea to make myself throw up so I won't have to do it later, so I do.  I somehow end up lying on the living room floor when A & K walk in the door.  Since it was supposed to be the 3 of us, they were the last people I expected to walk through the door.  K is six months pregnant now.  I was drunk, and I lost it.  I couldn't handle being in the same room with her even though I had just seen her the day before with a large group (about 15 people).  I made an excuse that I needed to call my friend L to check up on her and took my cell phone out to the front porch.  L didn't answer, so I called DH's cousin to sob to her for a while.  My friend J called me 30 minutes into the conversation, and I was bawling my eyes out at that point.  I tell her that I'm stuck there, and she says that she'll come and get me with her DH.  As soon as I hang up, attempt to dry my tears, and walk in the door, DH, K, & A are all walking out to leave.  I say good-bye to them, get in the car with DH, and proceed to start crying again.  DH was so upset with me for leaving the room (I'll admit it was rude of me, but I was drunk and mourning the fact that I wasn't pregnant).  He couldn't speak with me for the rest of the night, and we woke up first thing in the morning to make the 8 hour drive back home.  He still couldn't speak with me then.  I felt horrible the next day (just emotionally, no hangover luckily), and I was devastated that I was letting my sub-fertility affect me so much.  Later on, I'm able to talk about the weekend with my therapist, and she and I both agreed that I probably wouldn't have acted like that if I wasn't drunk.  Sub-fertility sucks.

CD 21- Appointment at OBGYN for a blood draw for a progesterone check.  My progesterone level was 1.5, confirming that I didn't ovulate.  Ugh.

CD 29-30- Head to Atlanta for my godson's baptism (my cousin's son).  I now have 2 godsons within the span of 2 weeks.  This ceremony was a little easier for me to get through since I know it took my cousin 2 years to conceive him, whereas with my sister it was an "accident."  On the day of the baptism, I get my period :(

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